Joy and Sorrow

For the last several days I've been seeing bright flashes of light.  While I felt warmed and comforted by these sightings, I couldn't complete discount that either my vision was getting a little wonky or I might be having mini-strokes (I'm still trying to find rational explanations for what I can't explain).  I didn't mention it to Jeff, as I couldn't explain what seeing "flashes of light" truly meant to me.  Then two days ago, I clearly heard the song "Conversation with Death (Oh Death, Oh Death)" which is an old bluegrass dirge in which a man tries to bargain with Death to spare him - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qpkdOA1LU5I.  I was a little surprised, to say the least, and was hoping it didn't pertain to anyone I knew; since I often have trouble understanding what's being shown to me until the event actually happens, I kept it in the back of my mind.

Last night Jeff and I were talking about our future - he begins working with a new company in two weeks -  and he said, "I feel really, really good about this new company.  I think I finally feel positive that everything will be okay.  I've been seeing bright light flashes the last few days, and I just know it's a positive sign that everything's going to be okay for us!  What's your intuition telling you?  Do you think we'll be okay?"  I just stared at him, opened mouth, and finally stuttered, "You've been seeing the lights, too?"  He said, "Yes - you, too???"  And I went on to tell him about my own sightings and how comforted I was by them, that they emitted a truly loving, positive energy.  Then I told him, "But I clearly heard "Conversation with Death" the other day, but I'm positive it's not about us - at least I hope it isn't!"  He laughed and told me it was in all likelihood a message for someone else for me to remember when the event happened.

So today we all learned that Rep. Gabrielle Giffords and Federal Judge John Roll and many others were shot in Tucson, AZ.  Was the dirge "Conversation with Death" meant for them?  Was it meant for the little 9 year old who was also shot, then died?  The hatred and violence that is escalating in America today is abhorrent; I just wonder why taking another's life is ever considered an option.  I wonder why many conservative pundits keep using phrases like "we need to set our targets on X" or "we need to beat the hell out of that legislation" or "someone should shoot him and make him shut up."  I know that all that awful energy is circulating everywhere and picked up by all; most try to project their own love and peace and actively engage to make the world a better place in order to counteract this vileness, but there are always the few who pick up that energy and can't let it go - often to the point of being violent.  Does life mean so little that it must die for not only the victim but for the murderer as well?

At this point I'm still excited for Jeff (and I) and his new company and still feel really positive.  However, I'm having my own Conversation with Death tonight in the hope that before I die I can truly make a difference in this brutal, ugly, greedy world that's now apparently become the norm.  I'm asking Death for a reprieve and hoping many, many others will do the same.

Peace, love, compassion and respect, y'all