Today I'm officially older than dirt (I turned 60 at 1:02 am Pacific time 'cause I'm a California born girl). So, being the not-so-wise-yet-still-rockin'-it old lady that I am, I'd thought I'd share a few lessons I've learned over the years:
1) If you find something unbelievable, research it. Get all sides, check all references, then form your opinion. For instance (hey! I didn't say I wasn't gettin' political in this post!) I've discovered Ukraine is now run by neo-nazis in their top government positions, Putin is, indeed, a bully, and the Ukraine has the third largest gas deposit in Europe, not to mention they farm wheat that goes into those delicious breads and pastries for which much of Europe is known. John Kerry speaks double-speak and hasn't shown proof of any of his allegations on any countries he wants us to invade. In the past all of our modern wars have been fought strictly for Big Oil et al (yes, there's really proof of this) and big business (defense industries, duh). So the question is, why would we care so much about Iran & the Ukraine? Iran is a huge oil producer, and the Ukraine has the potential to be huge in gas (and wheat). My formed opinion: A war with Iran and/or the Ukraine ain't about terrorism or "freedom" or whatever, it's all about keepin' the oil guys and defense contractors happy and swimming in monies. At the expense of our military/own well-being. Business as usual.
2) Always tie stuff in a square knot. To this day I whisper to myself: "right over left, left over right"
3) If you can't tie stuff, buy slip-on shoes. Find a better way to suit your needs and don't be dismayed at those who laugh at you for not being able to make a knot. After all, it's the exploration and discoveries that are infinitely more valuable than the knot-tying itself.
4) Practice a little restraint. I want to end every single one of my status updates with, "That's my opinion, bitches!" And I want my tombstone to read "I'm outta here, bitches!" except I think I want my body donated to the Body Farm so perhaps a plaque will do - I find ending a sentence with "bitches" hilarious because it's just sensorily delicious to me. And yet, so far, I practice a little restraint. I'm not guaranteeing that I'll continue to do so because as you get older, you just really don't give a shit oops damn oops flip what comes flyin' out of your mouth.
5) If you can't physically beat 'em, use snark and/or a personal experience to shut 'em up. The other day I got in a twitter war with a couple of 20 year old angry feminists who were pissed that Gloria Steinhem didn't talk about intersectionality in feminism thus she's worthless. So, because I was a bit shocked, I said that back then we thought of women's lib as including all women as a class with no special subsections because we are all, well, a class for the purpose of ERA. Intersectionality, btw, means all subgroups together but with each having its own something-blah-blah-blah (and that is an example of snark). Anyway, it deteriorated to where one precious angel called me a "motherfucking cunt." I gotta tell you, first I blushed, then I laughed and laughed and laughed and wrote back: "I had a radical hysterectomy way back in 1996, thus technically I can't be a cunt. But thank you anyway." Yep. Stopped 'em in their tracks, and the war was over.
6) When you work with someone, even if you dislike that person, smile and be pleasant. You aren't being a hypocrite but rather defusing a potentially volatile situation. My biggest regret is that I didn't learn this lesson until it was too late. My suggestions, though, if work is hell: take a moment, write every single one of your frustrations down, then walk around the building/block, sit back down and smile. You'll have expressed your inner-most dismay without hurting a soul, and more importantly, without hurting yourself. I never took my personal issues to work - always kept that separate - but if you have a happy event happening in your life, share, and if you have an awful event going on, just confide to a few. Just don't be surprised if not everyone is as elated or as sorry for you as you are (this is a hard truth to learn).
7) We may have many lives, but we only have One Earth. Do your part, take action locally on laws that you can have a hand in changing. Don't be complacent about the environment on a local level! We all know Big Business is, indeed, the boss of us, Congress is totally complicit with them, as are most states. You can change things locally because the issues are now in your own ecosystem, and within that ecosystem lies the city council or county government or whatever in which there are usually not only town hall meetings but local get-togethers. Gather your facts, become the change you want to achieve. And if all else fails, sue the bastards :D
8) Enjoy, enjoy, enjoy life! Laugh out-loud-obnoxiously and as often as is humanly possible! When you enjoy life, you enjoy yourself and others around you. Everybody benefits from a good old fashioned belly laugh
9) If something is bothering you, no matter how small, step in and take charge. Quit whinin' 'bout the dirty dishes or laundry piled up or files still not put away and get that elbow grease flowin' to tackle that annoyance. You may be gritting your teeth & cussing under your breath at first, but I promise by the time you finish, you'll be smiling. Remember, it's only an annoyance to you, it IS your problem, no one else cares because if they did they would have cleaned the mess to begin with. And if you're just sick to death of cleaning up other people's messes, why then, this leads us to:
10) Let stuff go. Let the annoyances go, let the anger go, let all of it go and let the love blow outward. This doesn't mean put blinders on but rather make a mental note of it and file it back into "stuff I can't control" in your brain. I often post many injustices happening in our country of which I'm saddened, horrified, shocked, whatever. Y'all may think I dwell on these things - all the horror I can't change - but surprisingly, I don't. The only reason I post most of the things I do is so that you, too, hopefully will make a mental note of it, file it away, and when the time comes when we CAN change it, we will. All progress seems to be achieved with baby steps
11) Do no harm. Just don't. Sounds so easy, and yet it's the hardest thing I've been learning this whole lifetime. Physics teaches us that every action has an opposite and equal reaction, and metaphysics teaches us that the reaction is sent zooming around the universe and is there for any one to pick up on. For the last two months or so every night my subconscious mind has taken one incident in my life in which I behaved poorly and thrown it into my consciousness. Damn. I thought we were all supposed to re-live our lives upon death, didn't you? Apparently not with me - I have zero clue if any other old people are experiencing this, but if so I haven't heard about it. So each night I close my eyes and BAM! there I am in 8th grade being bullied and bullying in return, or there I am in front of one of the many lawyers for whom I've worked and I'm having a melt down. Every night a different moment in my life - no two repeat - every night more eye-opening and humiliating than the last. Looking back I realize I handled just about everything in the wrong way, and every bit of it was my own damn fault. Yes, someone else usually started "it" but the way I handled the event was as one who was ill-equipped to face unwarranted criticism and lack of respect. Now, I've always had a very healthy sense of self, but when blind-sided by events out of my control, I've behaved quite poorly (lashing out instead of blowing it off). I thought back then that if my work was exceptional and brilliant, that's all that should matter. TRUST ME: you have to do no harm, no matter how harmed you feel you're being, because it becomes YOUR issue when you do harm in return. And while I'm learning my lesson every single night in living color in dreamtime when I have so many other things I'd rather dream about (conversations with those who have passed on, for instance!), maybe someone who reads this will have a much easier time from now on.
12) Meditate. Even if it's only for 5-10 minutes while you're in the shower, just do it. Osho says the 3 ways to enlightenment are: 1) Watch. Watch everything. Watch the butterfly land on a flower. Watch your boss walk back to his/her office. Watch without judgment, watch without forming any opinion whatsoever, just soak up the details as intimately as you can. That way, the next time you see life unfolding before you you'll be non-judgmental, more empathetic, more understanding that "everything is." 2) Listen. Go sit outside and listen. Listen to the neighbor's dog barking, listen to the birds walking across the lawn or leaves, listen to strangers' conversations, all, again, without judgment. You'll learn dogs have different barks for different situations, birds have unique scratching sounds, conversations are filled with love and hope and anger and more emotions than you thought were possible. When you listen closely to the world, you find that it, too, means "everything is." 3) Watch the watcher. This means go outside yourself and look at yourself as you practice the first two. Watch yourself without judgment (see the theme here?), experience the now and immediacy of the moment, and discover how "everything is." If you can get to the point where you can do all three, without judging, without emotion, you'll be enlightened. I cannot do all three without judging, obviously. I care deeply and passionately about the environment and women's issues (and others) but I judge every time another regulation is deregulated and another law is passed restricting one's right to her own body. So, as in all lessons I'm learning and in tandem with my nightly "This is Your Life!" freakshow, I'm slowly, SLOWLY, abandoning my zeal and replacing it with the old adage, "Change that which you can change" and rolling my eyes at that which I can't. Rolling eyes is still being judgmental, so I have a way to go before I'm enlightened. Not being judgmental and accepting that "everything is" does not mean you can't be empathetic or loving; it means that death happens, we pay taxes, corporations are the boss of us, and there are always people filled with darkness who think not of the rest of us whatsoever. "Everything is" doesn't mean changes can't occur but rather that acceptance without judgment of what is occurring right at this moment is the point - "We are a Corporatocracy so let's change that paradigm" rather than "I hate all those motherfucker corporate narcissists who are ruining this country." I have seen time and again in dreamtime that those who are in the Otherworld know that "everything is" - when giving me conversations to pass onto their loved ones here in this world, they all want their loved ones to know that yes, they're still a part of their lives, and yes, they may see the loved one suffering but that's how life/the universe is: we have dark, we have light, we have a balance of the two at times and an imbalance at others but it's all part of the flow, the yin and yang. It just is and the darkness shall pass or the light shall pass or the two shall intertwine, and it's a universal truth
There are many other lessons I've learned but these seem to keep coming back to me to haunt me. And with that, I'm fixin' to go listen to/sing to/dance to/break a hip to Aretha - I'm outta here, bitches!
1) If you find something unbelievable, research it. Get all sides, check all references, then form your opinion. For instance (hey! I didn't say I wasn't gettin' political in this post!) I've discovered Ukraine is now run by neo-nazis in their top government positions, Putin is, indeed, a bully, and the Ukraine has the third largest gas deposit in Europe, not to mention they farm wheat that goes into those delicious breads and pastries for which much of Europe is known. John Kerry speaks double-speak and hasn't shown proof of any of his allegations on any countries he wants us to invade. In the past all of our modern wars have been fought strictly for Big Oil et al (yes, there's really proof of this) and big business (defense industries, duh). So the question is, why would we care so much about Iran & the Ukraine? Iran is a huge oil producer, and the Ukraine has the potential to be huge in gas (and wheat). My formed opinion: A war with Iran and/or the Ukraine ain't about terrorism or "freedom" or whatever, it's all about keepin' the oil guys and defense contractors happy and swimming in monies. At the expense of our military/own well-being. Business as usual.
2) Always tie stuff in a square knot. To this day I whisper to myself: "right over left, left over right"
3) If you can't tie stuff, buy slip-on shoes. Find a better way to suit your needs and don't be dismayed at those who laugh at you for not being able to make a knot. After all, it's the exploration and discoveries that are infinitely more valuable than the knot-tying itself.
4) Practice a little restraint. I want to end every single one of my status updates with, "That's my opinion, bitches!" And I want my tombstone to read "I'm outta here, bitches!" except I think I want my body donated to the Body Farm so perhaps a plaque will do - I find ending a sentence with "bitches" hilarious because it's just sensorily delicious to me. And yet, so far, I practice a little restraint. I'm not guaranteeing that I'll continue to do so because as you get older, you just really don't give a shit oops damn oops flip what comes flyin' out of your mouth.
5) If you can't physically beat 'em, use snark and/or a personal experience to shut 'em up. The other day I got in a twitter war with a couple of 20 year old angry feminists who were pissed that Gloria Steinhem didn't talk about intersectionality in feminism thus she's worthless. So, because I was a bit shocked, I said that back then we thought of women's lib as including all women as a class with no special subsections because we are all, well, a class for the purpose of ERA. Intersectionality, btw, means all subgroups together but with each having its own something-blah-blah-blah (and that is an example of snark). Anyway, it deteriorated to where one precious angel called me a "motherfucking cunt." I gotta tell you, first I blushed, then I laughed and laughed and laughed and wrote back: "I had a radical hysterectomy way back in 1996, thus technically I can't be a cunt. But thank you anyway." Yep. Stopped 'em in their tracks, and the war was over.
6) When you work with someone, even if you dislike that person, smile and be pleasant. You aren't being a hypocrite but rather defusing a potentially volatile situation. My biggest regret is that I didn't learn this lesson until it was too late. My suggestions, though, if work is hell: take a moment, write every single one of your frustrations down, then walk around the building/block, sit back down and smile. You'll have expressed your inner-most dismay without hurting a soul, and more importantly, without hurting yourself. I never took my personal issues to work - always kept that separate - but if you have a happy event happening in your life, share, and if you have an awful event going on, just confide to a few. Just don't be surprised if not everyone is as elated or as sorry for you as you are (this is a hard truth to learn).
7) We may have many lives, but we only have One Earth. Do your part, take action locally on laws that you can have a hand in changing. Don't be complacent about the environment on a local level! We all know Big Business is, indeed, the boss of us, Congress is totally complicit with them, as are most states. You can change things locally because the issues are now in your own ecosystem, and within that ecosystem lies the city council or county government or whatever in which there are usually not only town hall meetings but local get-togethers. Gather your facts, become the change you want to achieve. And if all else fails, sue the bastards :D
8) Enjoy, enjoy, enjoy life! Laugh out-loud-obnoxiously and as often as is humanly possible! When you enjoy life, you enjoy yourself and others around you. Everybody benefits from a good old fashioned belly laugh
9) If something is bothering you, no matter how small, step in and take charge. Quit whinin' 'bout the dirty dishes or laundry piled up or files still not put away and get that elbow grease flowin' to tackle that annoyance. You may be gritting your teeth & cussing under your breath at first, but I promise by the time you finish, you'll be smiling. Remember, it's only an annoyance to you, it IS your problem, no one else cares because if they did they would have cleaned the mess to begin with. And if you're just sick to death of cleaning up other people's messes, why then, this leads us to:
10) Let stuff go. Let the annoyances go, let the anger go, let all of it go and let the love blow outward. This doesn't mean put blinders on but rather make a mental note of it and file it back into "stuff I can't control" in your brain. I often post many injustices happening in our country of which I'm saddened, horrified, shocked, whatever. Y'all may think I dwell on these things - all the horror I can't change - but surprisingly, I don't. The only reason I post most of the things I do is so that you, too, hopefully will make a mental note of it, file it away, and when the time comes when we CAN change it, we will. All progress seems to be achieved with baby steps
11) Do no harm. Just don't. Sounds so easy, and yet it's the hardest thing I've been learning this whole lifetime. Physics teaches us that every action has an opposite and equal reaction, and metaphysics teaches us that the reaction is sent zooming around the universe and is there for any one to pick up on. For the last two months or so every night my subconscious mind has taken one incident in my life in which I behaved poorly and thrown it into my consciousness. Damn. I thought we were all supposed to re-live our lives upon death, didn't you? Apparently not with me - I have zero clue if any other old people are experiencing this, but if so I haven't heard about it. So each night I close my eyes and BAM! there I am in 8th grade being bullied and bullying in return, or there I am in front of one of the many lawyers for whom I've worked and I'm having a melt down. Every night a different moment in my life - no two repeat - every night more eye-opening and humiliating than the last. Looking back I realize I handled just about everything in the wrong way, and every bit of it was my own damn fault. Yes, someone else usually started "it" but the way I handled the event was as one who was ill-equipped to face unwarranted criticism and lack of respect. Now, I've always had a very healthy sense of self, but when blind-sided by events out of my control, I've behaved quite poorly (lashing out instead of blowing it off). I thought back then that if my work was exceptional and brilliant, that's all that should matter. TRUST ME: you have to do no harm, no matter how harmed you feel you're being, because it becomes YOUR issue when you do harm in return. And while I'm learning my lesson every single night in living color in dreamtime when I have so many other things I'd rather dream about (conversations with those who have passed on, for instance!), maybe someone who reads this will have a much easier time from now on.
12) Meditate. Even if it's only for 5-10 minutes while you're in the shower, just do it. Osho says the 3 ways to enlightenment are: 1) Watch. Watch everything. Watch the butterfly land on a flower. Watch your boss walk back to his/her office. Watch without judgment, watch without forming any opinion whatsoever, just soak up the details as intimately as you can. That way, the next time you see life unfolding before you you'll be non-judgmental, more empathetic, more understanding that "everything is." 2) Listen. Go sit outside and listen. Listen to the neighbor's dog barking, listen to the birds walking across the lawn or leaves, listen to strangers' conversations, all, again, without judgment. You'll learn dogs have different barks for different situations, birds have unique scratching sounds, conversations are filled with love and hope and anger and more emotions than you thought were possible. When you listen closely to the world, you find that it, too, means "everything is." 3) Watch the watcher. This means go outside yourself and look at yourself as you practice the first two. Watch yourself without judgment (see the theme here?), experience the now and immediacy of the moment, and discover how "everything is." If you can get to the point where you can do all three, without judging, without emotion, you'll be enlightened. I cannot do all three without judging, obviously. I care deeply and passionately about the environment and women's issues (and others) but I judge every time another regulation is deregulated and another law is passed restricting one's right to her own body. So, as in all lessons I'm learning and in tandem with my nightly "This is Your Life!" freakshow, I'm slowly, SLOWLY, abandoning my zeal and replacing it with the old adage, "Change that which you can change" and rolling my eyes at that which I can't. Rolling eyes is still being judgmental, so I have a way to go before I'm enlightened. Not being judgmental and accepting that "everything is" does not mean you can't be empathetic or loving; it means that death happens, we pay taxes, corporations are the boss of us, and there are always people filled with darkness who think not of the rest of us whatsoever. "Everything is" doesn't mean changes can't occur but rather that acceptance without judgment of what is occurring right at this moment is the point - "We are a Corporatocracy so let's change that paradigm" rather than "I hate all those motherfucker corporate narcissists who are ruining this country." I have seen time and again in dreamtime that those who are in the Otherworld know that "everything is" - when giving me conversations to pass onto their loved ones here in this world, they all want their loved ones to know that yes, they're still a part of their lives, and yes, they may see the loved one suffering but that's how life/the universe is: we have dark, we have light, we have a balance of the two at times and an imbalance at others but it's all part of the flow, the yin and yang. It just is and the darkness shall pass or the light shall pass or the two shall intertwine, and it's a universal truth
There are many other lessons I've learned but these seem to keep coming back to me to haunt me. And with that, I'm fixin' to go listen to/sing to/dance to/break a hip to Aretha - I'm outta here, bitches!
