Heartwarming/Life Affirming; Heartbreaking/Life of Regret

I'll start first with the heartwarming and life-affirming story:

Every year at Christmas I get Jeff and me and The Girls scratch-off tickets for our stockings.  When my chocolate lab Lucy was alive (see www.gertieseesghosts.com/tributetolucy.html), she was the one who always won the big ticket payout on the scratchoffs - usually $50 every year!  And a more humble winner would be hard pressed to be found, as she always smiled sheepishly when told she had won (again!), her tail wagging in joy and excitement.  Now it's 6 years later, and the tradition continues with the placing of the scratchoffs in our stockings, although this year Jeff decided he'd get us each one, too (double the fun!).

I have said many times that our yorkie Sadie is Lucy reincarnated; she has the same temperament, watches me constantly, knows no enemies, likes to eat cat litter (don't worry, I'm not going to discuss that!) and even eats the same way that Lucy did.  This year at Christmas reaffirmed to me that Sadie and Lucy are one and the same: Sadie won $50 on her scratchoff ticket!  Jeff and I just looked at each other and said simultaneously: "Lucy!"  And in the interest of full disclosure, we ALL won - out of 10 tickets purchased, 7 were winners, but Sadie had the only big bucks win :D.

 Now for the heartbreaking, which I debated blogging about but which I finally concluded should be known because it speaks to living and dying:

My stepfather Jamison died in March 2010 (see my blog post in March re that event), and other than his awful thoughts prior to his death being picked up by me, I haven't thought of him since that time; he wasn't in my life for over 30 years, so his death didn't leave any mark on me except sadness for him (certainly not for me).  Imagine my surprise, then, when a few weeks ago after we had hung the stockings on the mantel and had finished putting the Christmas lights up, I was walking from the office through the livingroom to the kitchen when I saw Jamison sitting on my couch.  He was sitting with his legs apart, hands clasped in front of him and looking straight at the stockings in a thoughtful, somber, regret-filled face.  It truly broke my heart.  He never looked at me so I was able to observe him for a few seconds before he vanished, and the pain and regret and sorrow was palpable.  But he was also reflecting, which I believe we all do when we die and which we should do as we live.  Karma is indeed a bitch, but I believe it goes further than that: death is not final - ever.  We go on to live either in the otherworld, or we're reincarnated to try to learn those lessons we missed or to try to experience life on another level than we did on the last go around.  I'm actually thankful to have gotten a glimpse of Jamison in reflection; it's a reminder that even those in this life who may seem to lack compassion, love and respect reflect upon their choices when they're in that otherworld and hopefully will gain new understanding into how mistaken they were when alive in this world.   Therefore, as the Buddhist tenet insists, we must learn in this world to love those who are less than lovable because one day they WILL see the consequences of their actions.